Enjoy the things you can afford
Brand: Branston Cost: £0.99 Found at: Lidl My old boss, Alex, was the kind of British man who always seemed like he just wandered out of the Boer War. A classic old imperialist, he liked nothing better than disparaging the locals, winding up millennials, and proudly declaring the joys of being British. He was... Continue Reading →
Brand: Shonan Toffee Found At: Bokkusu This candy disintegrates faster than my self-control when encountering any temptation. Sitting in its packaging, it’s quite sturdy - I’ve tried to crush it with no success. Yet as soon as you pop it in your mouth, it shatters into a fine, lemony powder. It’s how I imagine... Continue Reading →
Brand: Soreen Cost: £1.05 Found at: Tesco The 13th-century serf in me is in heaven. Finally, the snack that captures the culinary tour-de-force of buttered bread. It is truly the sushi of Europe: so simple, so elegant, so delicate. And so overpriced. For £1.05, you get two credit-card-sized pieces of chewy molasses bread, and... Continue Reading →
Brand: Sozai Found at: Bokkusu This is the most hipster thing I think I’ve ever eaten and I LOVE IT. I’m a dyed-in-the-wool hipster, after all; how could I not? And as a hipster extraordinaire, I can attest that gobo is possibly the most absurd of the obscure Japanese vegetables. There’s just nothing... Continue Reading →
Brand: Morrison’s Cost: £ 0.70 Brand: Morrison’s This is a quality old lady purse candy. So much so, that it feels wrong just having the box sitting on my desk. It belongs in a carpetbag slung over a walker belonging to a white-haired Southern lady in a pillbox hat and gloves. The kind of... Continue Reading →
Brand: Marusantamakiya Found At: Bokkusu Region: Nagano It’s been a long, cold, wet winter here in Scotland. Storm after storm has pelted us with rain, and wind, and hail. Living next to a popular club, I spent many a dreary evening sitting at the bay window with my neighbors and watching young people in... Continue Reading →
Brand: The Snaffling Pig Co. Cost: £1 Found at: Tesco What on earth are these?! Britain, what are you doing to yourself?! Stop it! This is literally a bag of deep-fried pig skin and bone. I understand that in “ye olden days” you needed to preserve every part of the pig for the long,... Continue Reading →
Brand: Satshumarché Found at: Bokkusu Is a tea bag a snack? Debatable. Do I brew tea like it's free? Oh, most definitely. So today, I’ve decided to post about tea, as a blatant affront to all the excellent tea blogs out there who do a much better job and describing tea than I do.... Continue Reading →
Brand: Peppersmith Cost: £1 Found at: Sainsbury’s In this time of pandemic, there’s a lot of conflicting advice about how to keep yourself safe. Should I buy a mask? Should I make hand sanitizer out of Tito’s vodka? Should I replace handshakes with the trendier and more sanitary fist bumps? There’s so much information... Continue Reading →
Brand: Sainsbury’s Cost: 35p Found at: Sainsbury’s The packaging on this chocolate bar is highly suspect: “an alternative to milk chocolate.” There’s a lot of wiggle room in the word “alternative” when it comes to food - one might even say too much. It is also concerning that the bar itself is not described... Continue Reading →
