Pork Scratchings Perfectly Seasoned with Salt

Brand: The Snaffling Pig Co.

Cost: £1

Found at: Tesco

What on earth are these?!

Britain, what are you doing to yourself?! Stop it!

This is literally a bag of deep-fried pig skin and bone. I understand that in “ye olden days” you needed to preserve every part of the pig for the long, cold Scottish winters – but we have refrigerators now! We have hot dogs! We have dog food! You do not need to eat this anymore because this is genuinely gross. Let me tell you just a few of the ways this is not food:

1. You can see the hair follicles on the pig skin – sometimes it even still has hairs. Gross.
2. These are way too crunchy. If I wanted to eat bones, I’d become a cannibal. Gross.
3. How is my mouth oily after eating something so dry? Gross.
4. They smell like dog treats. Gross.

If this is “British Food,” I understand the reputation. But you’re a developed, metropolitan nation now. Get it together!