Crunchie

Brand: Cadbury

Cost: 70p

Found at: Tesco

There is not enough yes in the world to describe how I feel about this candy bar. I’ve been playing candy bar junior varsity my whole life, and I’ve just been brought up to the big leagues. This candy bar is positively phe-no-me-nal.

There are some implications of “natural” products in this candy bar that, frankly, cannot be true: the self-described “golden honeycomb” appears to be a crunchy, freeze-dried honey-flavored brick that I think has more to do with the laboratory than with the hive. That being said, this is certainly an example of better living through chemistry: the golden center melts in your mouth, very much like cotton candy, and combines with the soft milk chocolate to produce the perfect candy bar flavor. It is so sweet that my tongue hurts, but it is so good that I do not care.