Dark Chocolate Digestives

Brand: McVitie’s

Cost: £1.50

Found at: Morrisons

We live in a time where I can access the combined knowledge of humanity from my cozy bedroom; a time of facial recognition, virtual reality, 3D printing, robotic surgery, privatized space travel, cryptocurrency, drones, and a thousand podcasts about serial killers. And yet somehow, in this amazing, unprecedented era of innovation, I cannot successfully dunk a chocolate biscuit. And I’ve tried because while these dark chocolate digestives are perfectly edible when eaten plain, there is just something transcendent when they have been soaked and softened in a hot cup of tea. It’s the way that it is meant to be eaten and once you’ve had a digestive biscuit dunked in tea (or coffee, or hot chocolate – choose your poison), there is no going back. But this procedure is complicated when the digestive biscuit in question is covered in chocolate. The biscuit still achieves its perfect softness, but the heat of the tea melts the chocolate coating, causing a catastrophic failure in structural chocolate integrity. Chocolate gets on my fingers, my face, my cup, my desk, my library books, and my cell phone before I have fully finished consuming the cookie itself – and no matter how many towels I have on hand they are never enough. I’m like a 1-year-old with a pudding cup – I’ve even gotten chocolate in my