Kalles Kaviar

Brand: Abba Seafood

Cost: 21.95KR

Found at: Coop

This is a tube of refrigerated, salted cod roe that is absolutely ubiquitous in Sweden. Every grocery store will have a hanging display of a variety of tubes filled with every possible topping under the sun. There’s a tube of cheese, a tube of mayonnaise, a tube of caviar, a tube of caviar light, a tube of caviar gold, a tube of caviar KRAV – you name it, they’ve tubed it.

I personally find it very disconcerting to see cod roe dispensed from a toothpaste tube. My cultural associations when it comes to tubes generally lean towards epoxies, super-glues, toothpastes, and hemorrhoid creams – not things I would generally put on a cracker.

But I consider myself an open-minded gal, and given my recent success conquering liver paste, I decided that cod roe was the clear next-step in the evolution of my palate. And let me just say, it tastes like salty garbage. It’s so fishy and so slimy and OH SO SALTY. I had a small dollop and even that was too much – I could feel my heart straining against the sudden rush of sodium. It is possible that this spread is better in conjunction with something else – on a deviled egg, perhaps – but I am not there yet. Frankly, I don’t think I ever will.