Yogurt Gummies

Brand: Sugimoto

Found at: Bokkusu

I hate it.

I get it.

But I hate it.

Yogurt is just spoiled milk that we’ve tricked ourselves into being able to digest. I’m ok with that – it’s not as if most dairy products are much better, and everyone here knows how much I love dairy. I’ve got no problem with the sour, acidic element of yogurt because I trust it. After a long and productive relationship, I have never once been poisoned by a cold, creamy pot of cultured milk. But it turns out that this trust does not extend to different formats.

These gummies have somehow harnessed all the flavors that alert my brain to spoiled dairy, mixed them with sugar, and sold them as a snack. And I am not having it. Maybe it’s one too many run-ins with expired milk, but as soon as I pop one of these into my mouth, my instinct is to spit it out again. The trauma runs too deep.

If you are a dyed-in-the-wool yogurt lover, I’m sure this snack is divine. If you have a mother who believes milk cannot go bad, you’re gonna have a rough time.