Orkney Thin Oatcakes

Brand: Stockan’s

Cost: £0.60

Found at: Sainsbury’s


On the minus side, these flat oat crackers taste and look like starchy cardboard. On the plus side, they are an amazing base for cream cheese. And while I usually judge snacks on their own merits alone, with these quarter-circles of blandness I feel weirdly compelled to defend them. They are literally oatcakes after all; not taste cakes, not honey cakes, not sparkle-rainbow-princess-tear cakes. They are the cracker’s boring cousin – unsalted and with all the crunchiness of a wet popsicle stick. But they are also not bad. They are decidedly neutral: completely inoffensive and benignly tasteless. But what is key – and this is the crux of the issue in my mind – is that you can fit a LOT of cheese onto one. Like, the better part of a block. And I can forgive a lot of blandness if it means that I can eat more cheese.

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