Fennel Popsicle

Brand: Baba Succo

Found at: Coop

Cost: 29KR

This is a popsicle. That much is clear. There’s no denying that it consists of frozen juice on a stick. But I’m not sure that it knows that. I’ve never tasted anything so unsure of itself as if a desert could have an existential crisis about its place in the universe.

If it had any identifiable flavor, I suppose it tasted like apple. But then again, it did not taste exactly like an apple. It tasted like what you would get if you described an apple to someone not fully familiar with the concept: a big, woody plant with crunchy fruit that is sweet but also tart. It has that sweetness and tartness, but there is also something unshakably vegetable in this grass-colored treat as if the apple had been blended while still attached to the rest of the branch. I suppose this was the fennel, but to my great disappointment, it was the fennel without any of the licorice-y anise-y flavors that I love so much. I had such high hopes for an apple-licorice hybrid flavor (and I still do), but that is not what this popsicle had to offer.

I don’t doubt that this popsicle would taste better if I had been observing a vegan or whole foods diet. Health-positive desserts are hard to come by, after all, and everything tastes sweeter on a low-sugar diet. But to be honest, I just don’t think that this one is worth the price tag. If you’re restricting yourself, you’d be much better off with a bag of frozen grapes on a hot summer day. They are sweeter, less sticky, and so much less disconcerting than this popsicle.