Karikari Pickled Plums

Brand: Tomoguchi

Cost: 100 yen

Found At: Kyoto Daiso

This is not food. I do not understand why this is advertised as food. Everything about these crunchy, pickled plums is wrong. Foremost is the crunch. It is not the crunch of an apple, it is not the crunch of a carrot – it is the crunch of unripe fruit that absolutely should not be eaten. It’s the snap of regret, followed shortly by the flavor of foreboding. It tastes exactly like an unripe plum – bitter and sour and unappetizing in every way. Other than being pink, these plums show no evidence of preparation at all, which is not unsettling because they are also shelf stable. No matter how many times I have one – in plum wine, as a refreshing summer snack, as a genuine mistake – I can never figure out why anyone would eat them. And I have never met anyone who does eat them – even the pickled plum lovers in my life draw the line at karikari plums. The only conclusion I can come to is that no one doeseat them. That they are, in fact, a type of non-biodegradable packing material. It’s the only explanation. Because – and I cannot stress this enough – these cannot be food.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: