Banana Milk Flavored Mineral Water

Brand: Irohasu

Cost 130 yen

Found At: Family Mart

What can one say about banana milk water that hasn’t been said a thousand times before? It may shock the reader to discover that this banana milk water contains no actual fruit juice, and yet somehow, the alchemists at Irohasu have been able to replicate the exact scent of a bunch of green bananas being accidentally stepped on. From the very first moment you open the bottle, you are assaulted by this clear and powerful banana scent. It is only once you have savored the perfume a produce section after an earthquake that you can move forward and properly engage with a flavor palate that is equally powerful. At first, the only thing you feel is the strange sensation of the mineral water stinging your tongue, as if the water has been infused with pop-rocks. Then suddenly, out of nowhere, the sour taste of a green banana appears around the sides and back of your tongue in a determined, mildly disconcerting way. It is a taste that will linger on your tongue and in your nose for quite a long time after you have finished the bottle – particularly if you are unfortunate enough to cough, belch, or sneeze at some point in the following six to eight hours. Finally, as with most Irohasu flavored waters, you will be left with a fuzzy feeling on the tongue and the guilty feeling of having participated in something deeply unnatural.